In 2019 I made one of the most bizarre (and scariest) decisions of my life. I Quit my Career to Move to Bali.
Yup. I decided to quit my secure 9-5 marketing job, leave my flat, donate most of my belongings to charity, and take the very little money I had (and I mean, very very little) to move to a little Island called Bali, on the other side of the world.
Let me set the scene. I’d been diagnosed with depression in the January and had spent the first half of the year doing a sh** tonne of inner work; working my mindset, healing heartbreak, discovering exactly what made me happy and what didn’t. I did all this through the form of therapy, coaching, meditating, and even dating (yup, that helped me to heal).
Thoughts of pain and suicide left my system and I finally felt grateful everyday for the life I was living, a life so many others would dream of having – I was sharing a small but adorable apartment with a friend, working in a London start-up with great benefits. I had wonderful friends, an amazing family and let’s be frank, I was living in one of the best cities in the world – London.
But it felt like that was my life on paper.
Whilst so immensely grateful for the life I was living, I still felt so lost & unchallenged. I was single and carrying around a permanent feeling of loneliness.
Not because I didn’t have friends, but because I didn’t feel like I was at the same stage as any of them. There were engagements, weddings, house purchases … and whilst I was, and still am, always happy for my friends achievements, I felt like I was falling behind in my timeline, MASSIVELY.
I felt like I wasn’t where I was supposed to be.
By summer 2019 I felt so fed up in my job – I was insanely frustrated that the promotion I’d had my heart set on for over two years just wasn’t going to be given to me, and looking back it’s probably because my heart wasn’t in it.
I found myself dreading going into work.
The daily commute was becoming a daily dose of super stress that I wasn’t sure I could handle for much longer (if you’ve ever had to squeeze onto the central line between the hours of 7:30 – 9am, you will understand my pain).
The people in my company were great, the benefits were awesome, and I was good at my job, but good isn’t ‘waking up everyday with passion and excitement’ which I realised is what I really yearned for.
I longed for a career that I was obsessed with.
I was 33 at the time, with a good education under my belt, plenty of experience, and a BIG creative imagination, I couldn’t understand how I HADN’T ended up doing something I was passionate about. But then again, looking back, I didn’t even know what I was passionate about.
I’d never bothered to sit down and figure it out. Sound familiar?
As well as feeling lonely in one of the busiest cities in the world, I also realised I just couldn’t afford to live in this city anymore as a single person. Two-thirds of my monthly salary went on the extortionate rent & bills I was paying to live in London.
The other third was supposed to cover my transport costs, living costs, outstanding debts, and as for savings, forget it. I felt like I was constantly broke, living paycheck to paycheck and as much as I love London, I didn’t feel like I was getting out of it, what I was putting paying in.
I began to once again think about moving abroad, an idea that kept creeping into my mind.
It was something I had initially considered back in January – I’d even created a whole vision board around it, cutting out images of a dream lifestyle as a digital nomad in Asia. It had been placed on my wall and I’d been looking at it every morning for the first half of the year.
Was it about to manifest?
I could move to South East Asia, I thought. I could get a remote job or even start my own business. I wouldn’t need half of the money I currently need in London to live twice as well. This is when self-doubt would normally creep in, but this time my usual cruel inner voice was cheerfully agreeing with me, telling me, Yes you can do that.
I began researching countries, cities, prices and watching many expat YouTube videos. Bali had been in the back of my mind for some time but I’d never actually been there, so deciding to move there was a big risk.
But then, in August 2019, some friends came back from a few weeks travelling around the Island. Listening to them talk about Bali and the lifestyle there, I felt my heart skip a beat and something in me just clicked. They showed me a picture and I felt a magnetic pull to this beautiful island.
I made the decision the very next day that I was Bali bound. Two weeks later, on one of my final paydays, I booked a one way ticket.
I quit my career to move to Bali – it was official
Now, let me just point something out, it sounds all fun and YOLO-esque. But I was terrified.
Absolutely terrified!
The next two months went by so fast as I packed up and moved out of my London apartment, donating any furniture I had to charity, selling kitchen equipment on Facebook and having a HUGE clothing clearout.
I mainly couch surfed at friends, did some house sitting and for my final two weeks I moved in with my Sister and her kids.
Looking back, that period of my life was so chaotic. Whilst a steady kind of ‘this is exciting’ vibration lingered around me, it was met with ‘wtf am I doing?’ spikes & heart palpitations at least four times a day.
I knew no-one in Bali. No-one.
I had less than £2000 to take with me.
No job. Just a head and a heart full of ideas.
My BIGGEST fear was arriving in Bali only to feel lonely, lost and useless.
I’ll never forget walking through the airport security, having just had an emotional Goodbye with my sister, and realising my excitement was almost non-existent, instead I was just a vessel of fear.
I kept telling myself to go back, to give up before I start. This is a mistake Hannah.
It terrified me that it could take months for me to build up friendships and relationships in Bali, and I found myself sat at the airport gate wondering ‘when will I next laugh or joke with a friend?’
It turned out my next giggle-infested conversation with a friend, was actually less than a week away.
I’m so glad I didn’t give in to my fear.
I’m so glad I pushed myself even further out of my comfort zone.
Had I not, I wouldn’t have met my soul tribe.
I wouldn’t have had my spiritual awakening.
I wouldn’t have launched my beautiful business.
I wouldn’t have gone on to understand how abundance really works and figure out what really makes me happy.
Moral of the story?
Get outside your comfort zone.
Embrace the things you’re fearful of.
And if you’re craving change – create it.
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