No one is handed their dreams on a plate. No one. That is why they are called dreams; they are goals that seem so out of reach, so unreal, but we strive to make a reality because we want them so badly.
But whilst you chase your dreams and begin to go through personal growth, there are unfortunately things that will test you, things that you cannot control.
Wanna know what the one of the BIGGEST tests is???
Your tribe.
Some of us are fortunate enough to have supportive friends who themselves have gone through growth or who understand & appreciate the journey we are on.
Not everyone is so fortunate.
Many of us are met with different reactions from our friends when we begin a journey of self-development, growth and love. From little negative reactions such as a giggle or an eye roll when we share the latest self-help books we’re reading, to stronger reactions such as quizzing and questioning our new interests, or making jokes at our expense and dishing out back-handed compliments.
When we have these negative reactions from our nearest and dearest, it can scare us. We panic. We don’t want to lose our friends, our tribe. We’re social beings after all, we tend to move in packs, and when our position within our tribe is threatened we freak the fuck out.
And what happens when we freak the fuck out? We start to back the fuck down on our dreams. We start to stoop down to the level of our peers because we want to fit in and we don’t want to loose our tribe. But it works both ways, your personal growth is breaking the pattern of the tribe, which is what is making the other members feel threatened in the first place.
BUT, please understand, it’s not that your tribe are bad people, it’s just that they can see you upgrading your life and it is forcing them to look at their own. And whilst you have found yourself ready to level up, this just means they’re not there yet.
I was always DESPERATE to fit in and DESPERATE to be liked; being popular and loved was something I used to crave. So anytime I had a member of my tribe question one of my choices, I foolishly stooped. It’s only in recent years when I began to go through my huge journey of personal growth that I realised there were people I needed out of my life once and for all. Not because they are bad people but because they weren’t growing and I was.
Right before I moved to Bali, one of my best friends told me he thought I was making the biggest mistake of my life. He told me I was running away from my problems, that I should stay in the UK, stay in the job I was leaving (yeah, the one I was really unhappy in) and try and find a guy and settle down.
I was so upset when he told me this. This is someone who I thought cared about me. And although it took a while to sink in, overtime I realised that he was simply threatened by my choices. Me making this huge transition in my life and taking these big steps forward, was reminding him that he wasn’t moving forward at all.
I’d known for months he had been unhappy in his own situation and misery loves company. His way of dealing with it was to try and drag everyone down to his level.
You are only going to be as good as the people you surround yourself with, so be brave enough to let go of those who keep weighing you down.
Unknown
As difficult as it was, I cut that person out of my life, because what purpose was he serving me? Nobody needs that kind of negativity.
Your tribe should be your cheerleaders, cheering you on through whatever crazy-ass dream it is that you have. If you find they can’t it’s time to find a new tribe. If you really want to achieve your dream you HAVE to push past this obstacle.